Love me do

With my hangover from welcoming another new year barely over, I been wondering if someone’s switched my glasses with rose-colored lenses. Have you noticed the shops getting a makeover lately? The sea of red is unavoidable and I’m not talking about Chinese New Year. Whole Foods has started putting the lowly beet, known for it’s slippery sweetness (:o), front and centre in the produce section. London Drugs has replaced their discounted Christmas chocolate with heart-shaped treats of all kinds wrapped in red foil. Even the (please drink responsibly) BC Liquor Store is recommending we stock up on bubbles for all those special occasions (like getting engaged, perhaps?) My favourite (abnormally sarcastic) Globe & Mail columnists are complaining about the commercialization of Valentines Day (this is not news in my opinion, as they gripe about this every year) and my radio station is awash with people (mostly men) chiming in about how much they hate Valentines Day, complaining that their girlfriends/wives/lovers are dropping none-too-subtle hints about the flowers/lingerie/chocolate/ dinner/massage they would like to receive as a testament to their love.

“I hate Valentines Day,” Ashton Kutcher has tweeted, “I prefer to be romantic any other day of the year.” Spoken like a true married man.

Well dear Ashton and friends, if they’re hinting, you probably haven’t been romantic enough lately. So take the hint and dash to the mall to score some quick points. Show her the money, honey!

Valentines Day is, after all, the most popular day to get engaged (according to But what do you do to celebrate your love once you’ve bought the proverbial cow? You’ve bought the ring, said “till death do us part”, and sent all the thank you cards (well at least signed your name), what more could she possibly want?

Well I can only speak for the ladies but for starters, we don’t want to cook. I know, I know – going out for dinner on Valentines Day, with your elbows just one inch from the elbow of the hot (and probably unmarried) couple beside you, is no one’s idea of fun either. But why not take over the stove for a change? My friend’s husband always does brings home fresh lobster for V-day dinner. Big points for little effort here – use your manly biceps to wrestle said crustacean into boiling pot of water, warm up some butter and voila, a dinner fit for Marie Antoinette. My husband once made me cilantro & ginger topped salmon fillets pan fried in rice paper wrappers. Totally yummy, but so much work it only happened once. And if you really can’t cook, you could always raid the condiment section of your refrigerator and have a strawberries, honey and jalapeno pepper picnic in bed, maybe even blindfolded, 9 1/2 weeks style!

We LOVE chocolate & red wine. Try kissing her with both of those in your mouth. It’ll be like you invented the Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup. Delish.

We LOVE flowers, but they die too soon. I know they cost a tonne too, so my money would be on potted red tulips to be the gift that keeps on giving as the bulbs can be planted in the garden for next year. Tulips are much better than Orchids, as they are supposed to die rather quickly, whereas Orchids are just another thing to keep alive in the house.

WE LOVE shiny things that come in tiny, blue boxes, and they too cost a tonne. But I still like them.

We also LOVE having a stranger rub massage oil all over our naked bodies and not have to put out. Putting out with your partner after said massage, however, is also very good.

Sure, Valentines Day and their sentiments have been trivialized by a retail industry that wants us to show our love in dollar bills. But there are many ways to do this, both big and small. And if we don’t celebrate our love for each other in a big, gaudy, purposeful fashion one day a year, then when? I think we should be thanking Hallmark for the annual reminder! Especially you November babies!

What I am getting my the love of my life? I was thinking this..(get them at, hot lady not included. Not that hot lady anyways)

Show your kids your spouse still rocks your world. Show them that you know what love is all about. So make an effort this Valentines Day, it won’t kill you and it might even get you laid.

Love Lucie


Valentines schmalentines

I think I started hating Valentines Day in grade school.  I would count the number of cards received, analyze the sappy sentiments inside and ruthlessly grade myself in terms of popularity.  As I got into high school, the lack of a boyfriend really turned me off of the day for lovers – tacky commercialism and a stampede at chocolate shops and florists was just not for sensitive flautists like me.  When I finally did get a boyfriend, I assessed his love for me on his wallet’s ability to show how much he loved me.  Red roses or pink carnations?  McDonalds or Umbertos?   A box of Smarties or Godiva?  Sweet nothings didn’t count.  I didn’t love myself, so I relied on material proof to navigate love’s math, and that way I never gave more than I got.  That is how I kept in control of the love game, while my ‘bad-at-math’ girlfriends were loving and losing all around me.  It’s not hard to believe that the weekend before Valentines Day is the busiest time of the year for psychiatrists.

What I didn’t realize until I was late into my 20’s is that love is not a game that can be won.  Love, I realized, is the little things.  Sweet nothings do count.  You can make love out of nothing at all and it feels good.  I learned that I really like Happy Meals. The blue box from Tiffany’s is great, but you get way more mileage out of a smile, eating dinner together, laughing over old photos, and sharing memories.  I learned to recognize that feeling of my heart blooming right past the physical limits of my rib cage as love, and that feeling often brings me to tears.  Happy ones.  Love is friendship, sharing a box of popcorn, and facing the future together.  And as you look at the state of the world around us, maybe a yearly reminder isn’t such a bad idea after all.  

Love Lucie

I heart Provocateur

From some reason, I am on Agent Provocateur’s email list. I should probably move them to my junk folder except that occasionally they send me photos of the latest fashion in high-class call girl, barely-there wear, and the photos are deliciously hot! Last week, the very clever people at AP sent me an invitation to Men’s Shopping night  this Thursday, complete with cocktails, canapés and lingerie models, just in time for Valentines Day. But this time, instead of photos, their invitation came with the most titillating video I’ve ever seen outside of YouPorn. View it for yourself here.

Vodpod videos no longer available.

Enjoy!  And remember Stan, Valentines is only 5 days away!

Love Lucie