Growing up a Roman Catholic, I’ve always loved that feeling you get right after you step out of the confessional. 3 Our Fathers and 3 Hail Mary’s away from free at last, free at last, free at last! With my past transgressions absolved, I love that feeling of weightless and beginning anew.
New Years Eve has always had the same effect on me. New calendars, new resolutions, and a new leaf with limitless potential. Now at 41, I should know that there is no new me, just the old me, the same-old swearing, grumpy, disappointed in others me, who’s always trying to squeeze herself into a smaller jean size. But every December 31st, like Pavlov’s dogs, I wipe the skid-marks clean.
This annual cleansing comes with it, a self-imposed pressure to introduce the New Year with a BANG, to give the new me at TA-DA(!) debutante-style welcome. But ever since that New Year’s Eve in Grade 12 when my parents wouldn’t let me go out to unveil the new me, a decree that unravelled the new nicer, happier me in about 10 minutes, I have felt enormous pressure to have a picture perfect New Years Eve.
Totally hot outfit? Check.
Totally hot someone to kiss at the stroke of midnight? Check.
Clear view of Dick Clark/Ryan Seacrest/that Big Apple for the countdown? Check. But even with all the boxes checked, the new me always fizzles out by Valentines Day.
To combat this, this year my lovely husband and I thought we’d try something we’ve only done 3 years in our entire adult lives (the years our children were born), and that is, stay home on New Years Eve. I actually think it was my idea, as the new “I want to be a better mommy” me was percolating in my head. But as the countdown approaches, I’m freaking out a little. All my friends are going out on the town, smelling and looking delicious, ready to ring in the new year! As such, my grumpy, disappointed self has reappeared in Lululemon sweats and has no intention of leaving before midnight. I hope my family understands. At least they’ll be able to recognize me tomorrow morning!
Happy New Year everyone!